Carrie went to Italy and all I got were these stupid moving boxes or Fluke by Christopher Moore

Humpback whale, but the kind that doesn't eat people

I completely missed my last post's deadline.  In my defense I was without Internet with the exception of the free wifi available at the motel in Bristol, Virginia.  I chose not to write a post there because it was 11:30 at night when we pulled in (after being turned away at a hotel because we had a dog in our party, even though they advertised they were pet-friendly); I was tired from loading all our possessions on a moving truck earlier that day (well I didn't do any of the loading, but I was there cleaning the two tons of dog hair and various flotsam and jetsam that surface when moving any kind of children's toys) and then driving away from our home of two years.  When we got here to Maryland, we had a house to stay in but no possessions, so typing out a post while I had dinner with my family on the living room floor right before I went to sleep on the bedroom floor with either my two year old or my four year old was not that appealing.  But then last Thursday, my new love Maurice called to say he would be there with all of our stuff that morning.  He's a good man, Maurice; a shining example of Steve Miller Band lyrics.  Anyway, my point is that we've been in flux.  We are now slightly less fluxful.  So I will now stop whining and briefly tell you about yet another Christopher Moore book, and then I will go unpack some more (because those damn boxes multiply if you leave them unattended too long).

Fluke by Christopher Moore made me laugh in places, taught me a few things, and gave me pause in a couple of instances.  It was a good book.  Action nerd, Nate, studies the song of humpback whales.  He does this with money from a generous if eccentric philanthropist and with a slightly goth research assistant.  He's been hanging out in Hawaii studying the whale song for awhile, and he and his marine photographer friend Clay have got a good system going.  Then they hire a fake-Rasta surfer, Kona (ne Preston Applebaum of New Jersey), to help with the boats, and things starting getting weird.  The navy is doing something mysterious, Nate's research gets mostly destroyed, Clay's boat (his boat!) is sunk, a whale flukes Clay and Amy (goth research assistant) makes a rescue of mermaid quality.  And, oh yeah, Nate gets eaten by a humpback whale.  I know what you're thinking:  that's bound to give the whale indigestion.  Don't worry.  Turns out this whale is actually a ship....or an alien species of whale....or a combination of the two.  Regardless, it's not your average, run-of-the-mill 40 foot/40 ton endangered swimming creature.  Most notably it has "Bite Me!" written on its flukes and it can eat people without killing them.  I've seen several episodes of Octonauts and have been to Sea World at least a half-dozen times (making me a marine biologist), and I have yet to see such a creature.

It becomes apparent that Nate was chosen for faux death because he was getting too close to finding out about these faux whales.  There's a whole network of them swimming the world's waterways, and they're piloted by a hybrid species of "whaley boys", with crews of humans all of whom the rest of world believes to be mysteriously lost at sea.  Nate is taken to Gooville (whale ship central) and learns about the origins of the whale ships and their purpose.  In summation, the whale ships were created when humans started killing whales.  There's a lot more to the back story there, but I can see the box in the corner making eyes at the box by the desk and the faint sound of Barry White is in the air so that explanation will have to suffice.  If you like books that don't follow a prescribed formula and where the conflicts are original, pick up this book.  Once I get unpacked, I'll be reading the latest Toni Morrison novel and then I'll probably read another Christopher Moore book.  You have been warned.  Now I'm off to herd my children and take down some boxes.  Try not to be jealous.

Timeless by Gail Carriger

Subtitle--A Post In Which We Bid Adieu to Lady Maccon


Somebody pass me the Kleenex.  (Well, Puffs, preferably.)

Tootsie Roll Steampunk Cupcakes

A good and lovely series has come to a close.  Normally, I try to avoid reviewing books from a series that I've already covered, but this is the end of a series.  A series I adore.  A series I'm going to miss greatly.

And THAT deserves it's own post.

Some of you may have read on Facebook about the general gnashing of teeth that Timeless' release caused me.  It came out at the beginning of Lent, JUST when I had started my annual self-ban on buying new books.  Only this year, I had pre-ordered Timeless like any good fangirl would and hadn't realized where its release fell on the Lenten calendar.  That meant a book of some of my favorite characters, arguably* the LAST book centered around some of my favorite characters, was sitting on my nook for 40 days whilst I ignored it.

Yes, I clearly hate myself.

*Gail Carriger is starting two new series.  One of them features Prudence, Lady Maccon's daughter.  Surely my favorite characters will have, at least, peripheral roles in this new series, The Parasol Protectorate Abroad.  One can hope.  Can't one?

Even after Easter had come and gone and my Lenten self-ban ended, I didn't dive right into Timeless.  In part because allergies set in, but in part I was delaying the inevitable.  The series is ending, and I don't want it to.  I didn't want to get to the part where there were no more Alexia (Lady Maccon) adventures to look forward to.  Eventually, though, I caved and devoured the tale that had been taunting me throughout Lent.

Timeless is the fifth book of the Parasol Protectorate series.  I found it to be one of the strongest, in part because Lady and Lord Maccon do work together, to a degree, in this book.  (For a better description of the background of the series, check out my July review of the fourth book, Heartless.)  Also, there is some strong character development of some of the supporting characters, like Prudence and Biffy--the vampire attendant turned werewolf--that was quite delicious.  Biffy's romantic interests aren't for the traditional at heart, but I challenge anyone to find fault with his basic character.  In fact, Biffy discovers a great deal of his own potential in Timeless, and it was a delight to read.

The plot of Timeless sends Lord and Lady Maccon to Egypt to visit the oldest vampire queen and to investigate the God-Breaker Curse they first discovered in Changeless, the second book of the series.  Much danger greets the Maccons including a babynapping, hostile vampires, a tussle at a bazaar, and nomadic air travel by balloon.  The Maccons face most of this danger in the company of their two-year-old daughter, Prudence, Madame Lefoux, and the acting troupe to which Alexia acts as a patroness.  That leaves Professor Lyall, the pack Beta, and Biffy, the newest initiate to the Parasol Protectorate, to manage things on the London homefront.  Lyall and Biffy have their own troubles with an irate Scottish alpha and dead Scottish Beta and a trusted butler trying to uphold two long-held promises.

I can't mention too much more without a spoiler alert, so I'll simply say this; Timeless is full of action.  The immediate mystery must be resolved, and steps are put into place that will allow for a (possibly) peaceful retirement for the Maccons.  If a series must end, author Gail Carriger allowed it to end with grace and a neat segue into Prudence's own stories.  So go read your own copy of Timeless, and I'll pass you the Puffs as you say your own adieus.